The Secret Mission

Once clear of the monsoon season, I was asked by the Colonel to accompany him on a top secret mission of the highest importance. I jumped at the chance, knowing I needed the exercise to clear a particularly bad attack of gout which had made both my toes look like eight ounce boxing gloves and rendered me with a gait similar to that of some ghastly zombie.
The Colonel briefed the party that the "Mission" would take one month and would be completed on horseback (The Colonel and I), on foot(everyone else) and that the stores would be carried by mule and thirty five porters (mainly porters). When asked about the mission itself, the Colonel became evasive and shrugged off questions in a brusque manner, so nothing more was said by anyone as we all now knew that the "Mission" must be of a highly sensitive nature.
After many days of struggling through primary jungle and the loss of six porters in an unfortunate tree felling incident, we arrived at the top of a mountain shrouded in mist.
On the direction of the Colonel the men set about making camp with their usual gusto taking two days to ensure the marquee's where correctly erected and the mahogany drinks cabinet( which was 24 hours behind due to the death of the mule that was carrying it) was in place and fully stocked.

At dawn I was awoken by the Colonel who was in a rather agitated state, he informed me that the day of the "mission" had arrived, however, he had forgotten the most important piece of equipment.
So, after covering eighty miles through dense jungle with the loss of six porters, one mule, eleven cases of severe dysentry and a rash not yet identified in any medical journal the "mission" the Colonel informed me was in fact a picture of the sunrise over the "Pradesh Pachmarhi" and he had forgotten the blasted camera!
On the way back we thought it best not to mention it to the men who where by now somewhat "tetchy" and had lost not only several of their collegues but several stones in body weight.
On arrival back at Base camp the Colonel thanked what was left of the men, deemed the "Mission" a rip roaring success because the gin had lasted and besides, my gout had completely gone!


The Major