Low Attendance

Somewhat annoyed at the poor turnout for last years Christmas Mass I have informed all ranks that non-attendance this year will be classed as desertion and any offenders will be punished with consideration given to rank (Officers will be exempt). This should do wonders for morale and help spread some much needed Christmas cheer amongst the men.

The Colonel

The Lantern

Inspired by a recent trip to China, during which the Major became an expert on dysentery and other conditions, I was inspired by the sight of flying paper lanterns, some of which I managed to retrieve and return to my Country Estate in Britain. One Christmas evening, we lit several of them and marvelled as they lifted into the air and drifted away to the nearby village where they promptly set fire to several of the thatched cottages. Feeling somewhat guilty I felt duty bound to have the Major make a full apology for having misjudged the wind. I also invited the aggrieved to the estate for dinner and made the Major eat in the servants quarters just to emphasise the point.

The Colonel

Man servants

Man servants are not a form of slavery, they're just very cheap labour.

Forging Ahead

Whilst visiting the Nippon islands in the company of the trader Henry Johnson and a Mrs Beaverburn, the Major and I were invited to a meeting of fellow traders. We made our way on horse back along a narrow path that was suddenly filled with men carrying banners, pikes and swords, a seemingly endless procession that prevented any further progress. Mr Johnson then explained that these were the retainers of a local Samurai, a sort of knight, who was curently returning home. Mr Johnson was quite clearly frustrated by the delay and turned to me and said 'Don't worry I know how to deal with these people' and promptly rode into the procession, whereupon he was set upon by the retainers. The Major having none of this rode after him and according to young Saigo my interpreter shouted out to the angry mob 'Good morning I am english barbarian fruit trader' at which he was pulled from his horse and given a severe thrashing as was I only moments later. Mrs Beaverburn had a lock of her hair cut clean from her head which one of the retainers collected immediately and started to sniff. Fortunately the Samurai lord intervened just as a rather ferocious looking chap with a razor sharp sword was going to behead me. With only cuts and bruises we had made a narrow escape from the jaws of death once more. Unfortunately Mr Johnson did not fare so well and appeared to be seriously injured. I asked the Samurai Mr Kobayashi if he could assist. He nodded and barked an order at one of his retainers who promptly walked over to Mr Johnson and stuck him with his sword, killing him, at which he bowed to us and went on his way. This was a total disaster, not only had we lost our guide but we were late for the meeting. All this was further compounded by the incessant sobbing of Mrs Beaverburn.I sent young Saigo on his way with Mr Johnsons body so as to cause no further delay and then severely reprimanded the Major for trying to pass me off as a fruit trader in a moment of danger, it is not becoming of an Officer or a Gentleman.