As the Major opened his eyes, he thought he was in heaven, but, as he came to his senses, he realised that the blank white sky he thought he was looking at was actually the underside of one of the dining tables in the Officers Mess. As he hoisted himself to his feet, he started to hear screaming and as he turned towards the door, there stood Buntie Rayham the hired help who was used and abused by Mrs Poutbottom Smythe ......He looked down and realised he was completely devoid of any item of clothing, and even more shocking, was the fact that his whole body had been completely shaved. Pygmies was his initial thought, however he knew this wasn't their Modus Operandi ......then suddenly Mrs Poutbottom Smythe appeared from under an adjacent table ....looking I might add, a bit the worse for wear.
It all started to come back to him ......things had got a bit boisterous in the Mess the previous evening .....one thing led to another, and after the Colonel had offered him the powdered Rhino horn things had took a turn for the worse, he knew this by the fact that he was wearing more of Mrs Poutbottom - Smythes lipstick than she was .......so if it wasn't the Pygmies who was it? He had a good idea who ....
The Major
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